Archive for May, 2004
Promises and Lies
17 May 2004It’s been a while… and this probably won’t become a regular habit again anytime soon, but I felt something needed to be said here, in order to counter some things that were said in the past. Something to be said to the person that has found comfort in this journal, hopefully some inspiration, but also someone who has been bitterly pained by some of its chapters.
You and I have long discussed the terms of our “ship”. Friendship, relationship, for a long time there was no consensus, and there were interfering feelings and situations. We’ve spoken of soulmates, of sharing couches, and spoken of our disappointment of one another. Many of life’s questions remain unanswered, but let me amend a promise I made a long time ago by saying this:
Take the leaps. When you doubt yourself and your feelings, follow them. I pray they will take you where you want, that your journey will always move forward and upward. But if they don’t; if you are disappointed by your hopes, you won’t be left with nothing. Maybe that’s what I can be–I can be a cushion, a safety net, a reinforcement. That’s what the couch is for.
I don’t know. We’ve still got a lot to figure out of ourselves as individuals, but this feels right to say at the moment. At last I can trusty my judgement and reason and say without any taint, that’s what I can be. So be amazing and do amazing things, find true love and grab on. Not just in the immediate future; whatever presents itself. Steam ahead full-on, as I remember you having done before and as I’ve admired you for. So often, I feel, that’s the right thing to do. But now, even if it IS a mistake… It’s not so bad.